How Emotional Manipulators Operate

A ‘Bachelor’ a Day Keeps Your Wedding Day Away! (Categories based on Don't Sleep With Him Yet, Step 3 “Hard Truths: All About Men and Which to Avoid”)

Luke Parker: EMOTIONAL MANIPULATOR

An emotional manipulator tries to get what they want in a relationship by using deceptive, underhanded or even devious tactics to change the behavior or perceptions of their partner. Luke initially told Bachelorette Hannah Brown that he would “want to go home, 100 percent” if he found out she had sex with one or more of the other contestants, especially in the fantasy suites, behavior which he emphatically condemned in a future wife. Of course, Hannah sent him home on the spot. However, when Luke unexpectedly showed up at the rose ceremony to try and win her back, he denied ever having said that—even though it had been filmed! In essence, Luke was flat-out lying to regain control over Hannah by having her doubt her own perceptions. Gratefully, she saw through the attempted manipulation. But unlike Luke who was especially transparent, emotional manipulators are often far more cunning and unfortunately may actually get you to believe that you’re the crazy one!
(Note: For a detailed discussion of how emotional manipulators operate, along with coping strategies, see Steps 3, 5 and 8 of Don’t Sleep With Him Yet. To listen to Dr. Nancy discuss emotional manipulation, including gaslighting, click here.)